Let me tell you a story about the power of not speaking up:

A few years ago, I sat in a meeting with government officials and the CEO of an Internet service provider, as part of my job as an elected representative. At stake was an initiative to get high speed Internet to every resident of a town where most people lived down dirt roads with sketchy phone lines (not cell signal – land lines, for those who remember!).

The CEO had spent most of the meeting talking, without interruption, seemingly oblivious to time or the restless faces in the room. Though I also had felt impatient, with my background in NVC and mindfulness, I chose to mostly quietly listen to understand his needs, thinking that he needed to be heard. Plus I didn't want to be rude, or say the wrong thing, or make a big deal out of nothing, so I didn't speak up. I wish I had.

After he left, the whole room erupted in disgust at the CEO's behavior, and the chairman of our board threatened to quit the project completely. This was the power of not speaking up – 1000 people in a rural town could lose the opportunity to have access to high speed Internet, simply because no one, including me, had been willing to interrupt the CEO and share their truth. The stakes were much higher than any of us realized at the time. This was November 2019. Though no one knew it then, we were just months away from a year of Covid lockdown, where everything from school to doctors' appointments was about to go online. 

We often think that the consequences of not speaking up are limited to us not getting our individual needs met, but actually, when we withhold our truth, it affects everyone. The other side of that is when we do speak our truth, it contributes to others, often in surprising and even transformational ways.

This is why I'm passionate about transforming people's fears around speaking up and teaching them the skills to confidently and compassionately put their needs on the table. It's because we all benefit. My life is made more wonderful when you are fully part of the conversation.

About that CEO: after that meeting, I called him up, spoke my truth, and we came to some new agreements. That call, and those agreements (which included him not speaking at the next meeting, unless asked for his input), built enough trust that the project was able to continue. Just a few months later, as the pandemic was beginning, the first residents to get high speed Internet were already benefiting in ways that were unimaginable at that November meeting.

Below you'll find more info about my upcoming course, called Courage to Speak. In it, I will share real stories from my own experience, both personally and professionally, of speaking up in uncomfortable situations. Together, we'll practice the skills that enabled me to interrupt with clarity, set boundaries with compassion, and say the necessary truths that others in the room were afraid to say, but longed to hear. We'll even look at how to 'clean up our messes', using any pain we stimulate in others with our words as an opportunity for deeper connection.

If you join, you will leave with greater confidence and ability to make the world more wonderful by speaking up with clarity, compassion, and connection to the people in your life – at home, at work, and beyond.

I hope to see you there.

Jesse Wiens Chu
Executive Director, Baba Tree International
Center for Nonviolent Communication Certified Trainer